Ten Things That Must Be True (Because I Think Them)

Ten Things That Must be True (Because I Think Them)

My Ramblings on the Sports World and beyond.......

1. Game of the century? What about last year? Wasn't USC vs. Texas with
a slew of first round picks and arguably two of the greatest playmakers of
all-time on the field also the 'game of the century?'. Then again, its not
often two teams who have met 102 previous times, play a game of 1 vs 2 for
the first time in their rivalries history. Pretty special. Although
without a national championship being decided, it might only be the game of
the year.

1a. This is one of those games I enjoy analyzing and picking - because I
hate both teams so much, and watched them both dismantle my team, that I can
be extremely objective. That being said, I really think Michigan has a
chance in this game. A good chance. Their hopes mostly lie on the
shoulders of diminutive, but often dominant, running back Michael Hart.
Troy Smith has been the star of this game the last two years, and his
performance against the best defense I've seen this year will be the second
biggest barometer. I'm picking the upset - Michigan 20-16.


2. I don't want to jinx Rutgers and start talking about 'if they go
undefeated' because they still have a few big tests left, one of them
equivalent to a test you would have to take in medical school. If Rutgers
goes undefeated, they deserve a shot at the title. End of story. I have
about fifteen analogies I want to make here, but I'll make just one. Let's
say there is a huge pie eating contest, and at the end of the 5 minute time
limit, the two people who eat the most pies get to have a 'gorge off' to
determine the winner. One guy clearly eats the most pies, powering down 20
blueberry pies (these are mini pies) in 5 minutes. The next closest guy
powers down 15, and 6 guys scarf down 14. When its time to announce the
finals, the judges decide that one of the guys who ate 14 pies (perhaps the
least slovenly) goes to the finals. The reason? The guy who ate 15 pies had
a few that were abnormally small and it wasn't really like eating 15 pies.
You'd say the guy that ate 15 pies got f@#k'ed, right?
Exactly.

Its as simple as this - they have the BCS, made up of six eligible
conferences. For this to be a fair system, it should mandate that any two
teams from these conferences that are undefeated play in the championship
game. For reference, the Big East currently features three teams in the top
10, along with 2-3 other potential bowl teams. Thats on par with any major
conference in the nation. In fact, its better than all except for the Big
Ten. Teams shouldn't have to earn their national championship over a series
of years, this isn't Ryder Cup qualifying, and its not Russia. The American
way supports the American dream - work hard, succeed, and be given a fair
chance to be rewarded. Maybe the NCAA is like Russia, actually.


3. I love the National Football League. We all love the National Football
League. Its the most exciting sports league and the parity and
competitiveness makes every Sunday a whole new adventure.
However, there are three things I would change about the National Football
League,
from a fan's perspective:

a. The TV system limits flexibility to those of us unable to perch a
satellite
dish somewhere near our home. This is not always easy. Direct TV is not
going to control the TV world, face it, open the contract up to cable. We
are often stuck watching 2 games on a Sunday afternoon, with preemption of
the best games a regular occurrence. A league that puts its fan above all
else makes sure they get to watch the best games and the best players,
instead of bowing to stupid 'local television broadcast regulations.' Stop
the madness.
b. End the crackdown on celebration by players. We can penalize excessive
celebration (i.e. - illegal use of a Sharpie), but moments like Brandon
Jacobs tribute to his pregnant wife (putting the ball under his jersey and
rubbing his belly) should be laughed at, appreciated, and NOT penalized. As
a matter of fact, any form of proud fatherhood by our professional athletes
should be put on a pedestal.
c. Excessively sensitive penalties in regard to 'protecting the
quarterback.' Again,
reasonable care should be taken, body slams, blatant cheap shots and
attempted
mutilation should not be permitted. However, basic rough stuff is part of
the game.
Thats what the helmet and 3/4 of a ton of offensive line is for. Suffer for
your 10 million.

4. Borat, funny as hell, but I still think that Something about Mary had a
few more 'crying in the theater moments', for reference. I really wish John
Hollinger or Rob Neyer cared about something like this - I'd love to see the
movies have stats - like 'scenes that reduced you to tears per hour' id say
borat, timing out at 1 hr 24 min, had 2
per hour. Something About Mary, timing out closer to two hours, had about
2.5. Wouldn't this at least make the Academy Awards more interesting? Could
have a 'tale of the reel' for certain categories. Wait, Hollywood doesn't
like
thought, nevermind. At least Borat has forever added the phrase
'I would very much like to make sexy time with her' to the lexicon.

5. John Cougar Mellencamp should be sent to Siberia - or at least Florida in
the middle of the summer. Its ok to write a song for a commercial. Its
borderline ok to use a montage of EVERY IMPORTANT EVENT of the last 40 years
while your song plays. But its really, really, not ok when the truck
company decides they should play the commercial roughly 3.5 times an hour,
especially on football sundays. guess, what John Cougar (stage
name?), this is our country, and we don't like your song. Go away.

5a. As for GM, this is really the big marketing plan? Toyota and Nissan,
and now Honda, not to mention everybody f#$king else, is whipping your ass,
you are hemorrhaging money, your labor costs drive up every car you sell by
at least 5%, and this is your big idea? What happened, Carly Simon
couldn't
come up with lyrics to rhyme with Dixie highway? Remember, its called
Daimler Chrysler, not Chrysler Daimler. You might get lucky to end up being
Toyota Motors.

6. I think the Sox did a good thing. Its a potential marketing boon, along
with a great chance to screw over the Yankees, I think thats worth 20
million to them alone. Even if this guy turns into a solid number 3
starter, its a win for them. then again, he can become Hideo Nomo with a
much nicer house.

7. College basketball may be in store for one of its greatest seasons in
recent memory. Already two top ten teams have been taken down.
With the defending champs returning en masse, and teams like LSU, UNC, Pitt,
G'Town, UCLA, Kansas, just to name a few, returning many great players, we
have a great group of teams that have championship potential Not to mention
and the Ohio St, Texas, Washington group that features mega recruits that
could really light up their one college year. I'm sure Duke will be
fantastic too, but I don't like talking about them.

8. I rarely delve into politics in this space, but I wanted to comment on
the recent elections. As a proud Republican, I think what happened on
November 7 was a healthy step in a Democratic nation. Any party that
controls all areas of government for too long is bound to become a
destructive force. Change is healthy, and political friction is needed to
move forward. I am hoping to see the Republican party get behind some
combination of Rudy, McCain and Romney for 08. That trio represents the
more moderate sensibility that the country seems to be asking for. With
Democrats likely to stay in a very liberal place - Hilary, Kerry, Gore,
Edwards, etc., the closest candidate to the middle may come out in front.
Now we just got to convince the Evangelicals that. After all, didn't Jesus
love moderation?

9. I wanted to bash hockey and make a 'rumour has it the hockey season
started' joke, but then I actually saw part of the Ranger/Devil game on
Tuesday night. In the span of 90 seconds, the Rangers scored 2 of the most
exciting, and 1 of the silliest, goals you will ever see to overcome a 2-0
deficit. I may not be able to get into hockey, but I am going to try to
watch more Ranger games, Shanahan and Jagr are quite a combo.

10. Since its Friday, I'll give an NCAA and NFL pick for the weekend, my
best picks,
also known as 'Surefire Guesses' or 'Bet Against These Two':

NCAA - Michigan +7 - games like this should be 3 or 4 points in favor of the
home team,
7 is too many, take them, and the moneyline if you are brave.

NFL - Denver/San Diego Over 42 - The NFL this year is not easy to pick, so
its good to avoid
sides whenever possible and stick to totals. San Diego loves to score, and
is very good
at giving up points, so look for this to be in the 50's in terms of total points.